Feb 3, 2023 | Blog
Here at DCYCC we believe in fresh starts. The Developmental Approach which we subscribe to has as one of its principles the premise that all, ALL people have immense potential to be whole and effective within their daily life, and when given the required support and resources you are able to change.
Now many of us who make our annual resolutions at the dawning of the New Year know just how difficult it is to change our behaviour, even when we know how damaging a particular habit is. Dwelling on how many times we fail to keep the resolutions made is discouraging and completely unhelpful. Squaring off against the behaviours, habits, thoughts, feelings, that hold us back from being the people we want to be, is especially hard when our history tells of our continuous failures.
Because we believe that change IS possible, we create an environment that encourages our children to face those things that hold them back. A clean slate, the opportunity to start afresh is often all the encouragement needed to take that first step towards seeing self and the world differently.
Let us be kinder to ourselves and others this year; wipe the slate clean and give yourself and others a fresh start.
Nov 29, 2022 | Blog
As with previous years, this year has not been without challenges. Challenges invariably call for some form of action from us. We can run and hide, or stand firm, facing the challenge head on. Child care requires that we work developmentally with children and each other as a staff team. One of the guiding principles of the developmental approach is to view challenge, in its many shapes and sizes, as opportunity for growth. And so, as we as an organisation pause to reflect on the year past and look to planning for the New Year, we felt that you might find it interesting to hear of some of the lessons learnt.
- We learnt through our efforts that group remedial work is helpful but not always the most effective. Covid restrictions brought to the fore the many struggles our children experience with academics. Funding allowed for professional individual tuition which provided significant assistance, not only for exam preparation but more importantly addressed gaps in understanding work. The results of those who used the opportunity has been encouraging.
- A little persistence and useful investigation can change a story. This was proven when our social workers responded to a lead that the biological father of one of our youngster’s was in fact still alive and unaware that his son was in care. With perseverance, some detective work, and burning hope, one clue led to another which resulted in us reuniting a father with his son!
- Sometimes help comes in unexpected ways. Miracles happen, and prayers are answered through unanticipated channels, as was the case when a donor visited to help share some light at the centre during loadshedding, with emergency lights and left also having opened the door for our teenagers to access an online leadership course.
- The way you treat people is important. Good manners, kindness and respect make an impression on people. Maintaining relationship with all our donors and friends, irrespective of the size of their donation, with a smile, sincere thank you or courteous email makes an enormous difference. We all know that giving should not be done with the intent to getting something in return, however we all want to feel that our efforts are appreciated.
- Children with emotional wounds often express their pain through aggression, defiance, self-harming, and blatant disrespect for others. Focussing on the hurting child behind the negative expression of pain is a challenge that requires professional responses delivered with genuine concern and a caring heart. To see or hear from those who were once in our care, embracing life, with all its ups and downs, makes facing the challenging behaviour of children so very worthwhile.
We trust that sharing our learning from these few challenges will challenge you to reframe your challenges and see the opportunity for growth that lie in each and every one of them.
Best wishes to you and your loved ones for a blessed and safe Christmas and a prosperous New Year!
Oct 27, 2022 | Blog
Covid restrictions caused both children and adults to adjust to a lifestyle deprived of healthy activities. Remember that going for a run or playing a contact sport wasn’t possible when Covid hit. And even after the restrictions eased, some people suffering from post covid anxiety just naturally refrained from physical activities that required mingling with large groups, whilst others struggled to break unhealthy, comfort eating patterns that had developed.
During this time, I saw first-hand how this affected children in general. Physical Education was suspended in schools and parents were fearful to send their children outdoors to play where they might have come into contact with others.
To promote and maintain good health, children need at least an hour of physical activity each day – either structured or free play. Younger children need even more. According to a qualified children’s health program planner, encouraging children to be active has a number of physical, mental and social benefits.
With Summer on our doorstep, we thought it may be helpful to share some of the ways in which we encourage our children here at the child and youth care centre to develop a healthy attitude to life.
- We get them to drink lots of liquids, preferably water, as its important to keep hydrated during the hot summer days in KZN.
- We are really lucky to have a wide range of bright and tasty fruits during this time of the year, think oranges, mangoes, litchis, grapes, etc. A healthy, well-balanced diet supports brain development and eating plenty of fresh fruit boosts overall performance both in and out of school.
- Regular exercise helps in the development of basic motor skills, building of muscle, strengthen nof bones, reduces the risk of illnesses, and improves sleep and mental focus.
These are just a few ideas of fun activities to get them started:
- Running or fast pace walking
- Playing sports; soccer, cricket, basketball
- Swimming
- Have a dance party
- Go treasure hunting
- Skipping or hopscotch
It doesn’t matter what the activity is, the end goal is to stay active, so be creative! And the advantage of using these ideas to stay active and healthy is that it doesn’t cost a lot.
Sep 28, 2022 | Blog
We live in a world that constantly bombards our children with messages suggesting that happiness, recognition, ……life itself, is a result of what we can accumulate; material possessions, likes on Instagram, selection for the 1st team, a degree…and so the list goes on.
Truth is that this is not the case and once this reality settles, they are left with an emptiness that over time can leave them with negative feelings and even depression.
However, as parents we can help our children develop a mechanism to protect them from this trap and its simpler than one would think…teach your child how to practice gratitude.
When we express gratitude, we begin to experience satisfaction and joy. It increases feelings of happiness, optimism, and hope. To have gratitude is to have an attitude of thankfulness. A practical way to develop this is to encourage your child to keep a daily ‘’gratitude journal’’.
To help your child start their journal give them the following prompts;
- Who is a person for whom you are grateful today?
- Did something happen today which you are thankful for?
- What is a simple thing in your life that you can give thanks for today?
- Was there a kindness shown to you today by someone for which you feel thankful?
- Is there a talent, skill, or strength that you have that you can give thanks for?
Speak to you child about how we can lose our happiness when we focus on what we don’t have instead of all that we do have.
Let gratitude become an attitude of thankfulness in your family and watch your child grow in confidence, tolerance, and contentment.
Aug 24, 2022 | Blog
All children are unique in their own way, and one of our top priorities as care givers is to identify and nurture those qualities that make our children who they are. It’s not as easy as it sounds, especially because life is full of obstacles that cause challenges. Yet in so many ways, it is simpler than we think. Embracing your child for who they are is one of the greatest gifts you can give him or her.
Just like crayons in a box, each child has their own colour that contributes to the big picture of life. Children are individuals and no two are alike: physically, emotionally, socially, and intellectually, each child is a unique being. Whilst we must recognise the common needs and characteristics of the various developmental stages, as care givers we must take the time to understand and respect their uniqueness and individuality.
I recently came across this video on YouTube. Now bear with me, at first it seemed a bit silly, but you will notice how it promotes individuality and uniqueness. It’s actually a fun and creative exercise to do with your child. You will both learn something new about each other and most importantly you will have fun!
If your interest has been piqued, please use this video link – https://youtu.be/lNCXbchmnec
While it is important to teach respect for each person’s individuality, there are things a child is not going to want to do, even if it is good for them.
In this instance I want to share the following 5 helpful steps of an article UNICEF had shared on how to discipline your child in a smart and healthy way.
- Plan 1-on-1 time
- Praise the positives
- Set clear expectations
- Distract creatively
- Use calm consequences
https://www.unicef.org/parenting/child-care/how-discipline-your-child-smart-and-healthy-way
Here are some useful ideas on how to encourage your child to ‘shine for who they are’;
- Allow your child to choose his/her own extracurricular activities.
- Give him/her space to pick what they what to wear from the cupboard, within reason of course😊.
- Encourage body autonomy, your child must learn that his/her body belongs to him/her alone.
- Create a safe emotional space in which your child can express his/her feelings.
- Help your child view their mistakes as learning opportunities
- Keep your own self-esteem issues in check.
- Cultivate an attitude that embrace and celebrates ‘differences’!
Source: https://www.verywellfamily.com/celebrate-childs-uniqueness-5071090
Jul 27, 2022 | Blog
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a mental health condition that can cause unusual levels of hyperactivity and impulsive behaviours. Children with ADHD may also have trouble focusing their attention on a single task or sitting still for long periods of time. This disorder can have a significant effect on children’s education and relationships, both with family members and their peers.
As I prepared to write this blog a little boy that was placed in our care a few years ago came to mind. Let’s call him Kevin. When Kevin came to us, he had difficulty trusting people, especially adults and was often angry and withdrawn – swearing at adults, hitting other children, and breaking property. He struggled to adjust to the structure and routine of our Home and wouldn’t join in any of the programmes or activities. School was even more of a problem. Almost every day, he would sneak out of the school grounds and walk all the way back to DCYCC on his own. We were so worried something would happen to him! We tried a different school, but he remained defiant and refused to complete his schoolwork. A Cognitive and Emotional Assessment at the Children’s Assessment Centre in Sherwood concluded that undiagnosed ADHD had contributed to academic challenges resulting in previous poor school attendance. And that this resulted in him lacking the foundation needed to build academic development.
Effective treatment of ADHD includes behaviour therapy and medication. Generally, the two interventions used simultaneously result in the best outcome for children. The goal of behaviour therapy is to learn or strengthen positive behaviours and eliminate unwanted or problem behaviours. And the medication deals with the imbalance in levels of neurotransmitters in the brain.
There is no quick fix for ADHD. It takes time, patience, and special support to help children find their way. Some of the things that we were able to do to help Kevin cope were to; put him on the recommended medication to manage the condition, we enrolled him in a remedial school for children with special learning needs where the classes were smaller, and he was able to benefit from individual attention and sent him to a psychologist for therapy. Kevin is now enthusiastic about going to school and is thriving academically and beginning to feel good about himself again. He is also learning to trust adults and has developed a close bond with his social worker and caregivers. He is doing much better now than when he first arrived. He does have an outburst now and then, but we are consistent in the way our staff respond to help him during those times. Here are some of the steps that you could use to help your child:
- Create structure in your daily home routine
- Break the daily routine into manageable bite size tasks
- Simplify and organise your child’s schedule
- Limit distractions
- Encourage exercise
- Regulate sleeping patterns
- Model out-loud thinking
- Promote ‘wait-time’
- Find a professional to offer therapy
- Believe in your child
- Remember to factor in ‘break time’ for yourself
- And remember to breath and keep calm
https://www.healthline.com/health/adhd/parenting-tips#what-not-to-do
