Jun 20, 2025 | Blog
Self-care is the practice of caring for the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of one’s life. Engaging in activities associated with these aspects fosters a sense of wellbeing. Generally, the idea of self-care is synonymous with adults, however self-care is just as important for children. Learning how to nurture oneself and develop healthy habits that support overall health is important for the times in life when we must deal with life’s stresses.
Helping children develop healthy habits during childhood provides building blocks for greater independence, self-pride, emotional resilience, and a smoother transition into adulthood. Here at Durban Child and Youth Care Centre we currently care for 20 teenage girls, each on her own unique journey. Recently, one of our volunteer’s treated the girls to a donation of facial products. This thoughtful gesture brought immense joy and excitement, as such luxuries are rare for them. It was a reminder of the how the simple act of developing a skin care routine can boost the confidence of a teenager preparing for adulthood.
As caregivers, we play a vital role in modelling self-care and creating opportunities for our children to develop their own practices. Here are just a few ideas of one can use; establish mindfulness through techniques like journaling, deep breathing, listening to music, and spending time in nature; encourage creative expression through engaging in art, music, and dance; promote regular physical activity through outdoor play and participation in sport; learn why nutritious food is important for development and how to make healthy food choices; promote good health through hygiene practices and adequate sleep and rest. By developing these habits early, children learn to manage stress, build resilience, and cultivate a positive sense of self. This not only supports their current sense of well-being but also lays the foundation for a healthier, stronger future.
Mar 26, 2025 | Blog
How do you respond to a child who says, “leave me alone”? Do you get upset, raise an eyebrow and shout with assertive authority? Or do you step back and take a moment to try and understand the reasons why?
The challenge most of us, who have children or work with children is that we tend to think that by virtue of being the adult we should be respected because we know best. Well truth be told, in most cases mature, informed adults do know what’s best for children. However, there are situations when this is not the case. At times we eagerly jump in with a solution before taking the time to fully understanding the child’s view of the problem or situation they are facing.
I am sure you will agree this is especially so when we are stressed or pushed for time, we sometimes underestimate the importance of the ‘process’, rather focussing on the ‘outcome’, and in so doing deny the child learning opportunity necessary for their development.
It’s important that we not only hear the words spoken but pause to ‘listen’ to what is being said; to feel the emotion and ask questions to understand what lies behind the words. It often takes a lot of courage for children to say what they ‘really mean’ and the way we respond will impact whether they will feel comfortable and free to open up and share more with us. When we pause to listen, we provide children with the opportunity to calm down. Giving them the freedom to express themselves builds their confidence and in turn increases their trust in us. It’s not only about providing a solution but rather creating an atmosphere where children are free to express themselves and then together to work through and towards possible solutions, leaving the lines of communication open.
So, the next time a child says, “Leave me alone” …Consider one of the following replies:
- “I’ll give you some space for now. I’m here when you are ready to talk.”
- “I see you need some alone time. I’m close by if you want company.”
- “I’ll step back. Just let me know when you want to share what’s on your mind.”
- “I need to be alone too sometimes. Take all the time you need.”
- “I get it. Just know that I love you and you are safe.”
Feb 27, 2025 | Blog
2025 is a year that marks 120 years of our existence as a place that provides children with a caring home. We acknowledge the importance of the support received from our community of friends and donors who from the very beginning and through the decades have contributed towards this achievement. During a recent interview with a journalist from the Berea Mail, I was asked to share what stood out as a highlight my 35years of service at the Organisation. Recognising that this represents just a little over a quarter of the existence of the Organisation reminded me that anything achieved thus far has only been possible because of the foundations laid during the early years and the subsequent sound leadership of the various people who had dedicated their time, expertise and funds to the running of the Organisation throughout the years. The history of this Organisation is peppered with times of transition and change, and so it comes as no surprise that my response was specifically related to the transition and changes that emanated from the dawning of democracy in our country.
Amidst the onslaught of changes to policy, new information on child care practice, opportunities for transformational training, piloting new models, challenging the way we did things with the way we should be doing things, and advancing child and youth care as a profession, was the sense that we were living in a historical moment. There was an excitement, an energy, a vibrancy that birthed a courage which saw us believe that we could reinvent our services and through so doing ensure that those receiving them would find healing from their trauma, be inspired to envisage dreams and hold on with hope for the fulfilment of their future.
As with the decades before, we worked hard to survive this uncertain time and with the support of our donors, are proud of the success, victory and even respect within our field that has been achieved. Change can be daunting; however, it is a reality of life that cannot be ignored. When embraced with bravery and determination it can lead to new beginnings. The transforming of services from providing traditional custodial care for children to focussing on Family Reunification is without a doubt the most rewarding of the changes we introduced. Children have the right to grow within family and whilst we will continue to work to that end, for the time that they must remain in our care, we are resolute in our commitment to ensuring that DCYCC is their home.
We trust God’s plan for our organisation and having experienced His unfailing favour in the face of past, present and no doubt future challenges, we are certain that our faith in His perfect wisdom and timing will see this Organisation through for many decades to come.
Nov 7, 2024 | Blog
Exam fever is upon us! If you have children at school, you will recognise the symptoms. Sleepless nights, fits of irritation followed by cold sweats, a hoarse voice, as you do everything in your power to encourage, motivate and support your child during this period. There is no doubt that school examinations can be a stressful time for the entire family. We want to create an environment in which our children can reach their full potential and realise the responsibility we have in trying to make this period less stressful for them. Accepting that the uniqueness of our child determines their preferred study method can be difficult when that method differs from what we consider to be the best method. Bottom line and non-negotiable should be the message that nothing replaces hard work! So, to help keep you sane during this trying time, we have pulled together a few ideas that you may want to draw on to provide your child with the guidance and support needed to set them up for success.
Have a Study Plan: Develop a timetable and study routine appropriate for your child’s grade and learning style. It is also helpful to assist your child identify their peak learning time.
Have a Balanced Diet: Maintain proper nutrition by feeding your child healthy, nutritious meals and snacks. The brain needs food to function. Avoid too much sugary snacks, as this may give a burst of energy and improve their mood but lead to a sugar crash which will decrease focus and concentration.
Get enough Sleep: Make sure your child gets plenty of rest. Sleep or lack thereof affects cognitive function. Enough sleep improves the ability to think clearly and logically, and assimilates the information learned during the day.
Stay Active: Exercise can significantly reduce the effects of stress and boost brainpower. So, something as simple as a daily short walk, swim, bicycle ride can be helpful.
Schedule Relaxation Time: This may sound counterintuitive, however allowing time for doing something that lets your child to just be, is important. It allows for rejuvenation. So yes, let them watch their favourite programme or listen to their favourite song.
Remember, our learning abilities differ greatly, so provide the support and encouragement and trust that your child will do the rest.
Aug 27, 2024 | Blog
Few of us can claim to be unaware of the powerful influence of social media. With so many social media platforms available these days it is so easy for young people to get lost in the myriads of options to connect with different online communities, share content, influence and be influenced. Now we are not saying that these influences are ‘bad’ for young people, however we are saying that as parents and guardians we need to be informed so that we are aware of the people and things our young people are exposed to.
For those of us who grew up before the advent of social media or have little interest in or just aren’t that interested in, and consequently don’t know much about how it works; trying to understand the huge impact it has on young people’s view of themselves, and the world is difficult to grasp. It is used by many as an escape and distraction from ‘real’ life. This then leads to a lack of focus and interest in school, physical activity, family interaction and spending time hanging out with peers. Then there is the very real danger of exposure to inappropriate or harmful content. This compromises their safety by oversharing personal information and location; cyberbullying; pornography. This then invariably has a negative impact on self-esteem, causes anxiety, which can lead to depression.
We know that not all social media is bad. The challenge is to assist young people find the balance. When it is used for the right reasons, in moderation and with an awareness of what is and is not appropriate there should not be a problem. As parents/guardians it is important to monitor their usage and be alert to changes in their attitude, social interaction and approach to everyday life. It is in your young person’s best interest to set some guidelines to support them as they navigate the world of social media, before it becomes evident that they are wrestling with its negative effects.
3 simple ideas you may want to consider:
- Decide at which age you feel comfortable for your child to have access to social media. Remember the risk of exposing children to so much content at a young age can be dangerous. If you are struggling to decide on an age, ask yourself this question; – Am I happy for my child to go alone into a community of strangers without me, without adult supervision or safety measures in place? If the answer is no, then your child is not ready to have access to social media. It doesn’t matter if other children their age have access to it. As a parent you are responsible to ensure that your child is protected and taught to make wise choices.
- When your child is at the right age and does have access to social media, then you need to set some sound boundaries. A basic rule which can apply to school going children and teens is – No devices are allowed in the bedroom at night. Try to create a culture in your home where all cell phones are switched off at a certain time, aiming for at least one hour before bedtime.
- Communication is key – we can’t shield our children forever or prevent them from making mistakes. But we can keep the lines of communication open so that we can freely speak to them about making wise decisions. When a child understands that the lines of communication between you and them are open, they will feel freer to speak to you rather than looking to peers and social media for solutions. Be mindful of your approach, so that when needed they choose to come to you over anything else.
Jul 31, 2024 | Blog
What is Dyslexia? Depending on one’s exposure to this condition, or lack thereof, the response may be accurate or reflect one of the commonly held myths.
Some of the myths that one may have heard are that Dyslexia is a reading disorder caused by vision problems causing a child to read backwards or mix up the letters ‘b’, and ‘d’; that all children with Dyslexia cannot learn to read; that they all have the same problems with reading; or that the presence of Dyslexia is linked to a child’s level of intelligence.
The facts are that Dyslexia is a learning disability that affects either the ability to read or write; that affected children are impacted by different degree; that although the exact cause is unknown, possible risk factors could include family history, premature birth or low birth weight, exposure to substances during pregnancy or infection that may have altered brain development of the foetus.
Irrespective of the causes of Dyslexia, we must remember that all children learn and develop at their own pace. Mastery of the skills of writing and reading is a process that some children may find more difficult than others and hence take longer to become competent in. However, we need to recognise that there are parameters in which developmental goals should be achieved. If the educator has raised concern for, and you too have noticed the child’s poor progress and constant struggle with writing and reading, resulting in him/her falling behind his/her peers; it would be wise to approach a professional for an assessment to identify whether there is a barrier to learning that needs to be addressed.
An assessment and subsequent remedial programme will contribute to:
- Creating a supportive environment
- Developing tailored learning strategies
- Collaborating with educators
- Utilizing assistive technology
- Promoting self-esteem
Ultimately, we want to be able to nurture children’s interests and strengths, thereby helping them successfully reach their potential as learners.
